The star-studded sky dances with incandescent red, white, and blue fireworks. It is the Fourth of July, and brothers Timothy and Spencer Wilson rush outside to watch the mesmerizing light show.
This moment of exciting spontaneity is one of Spencer Wilson’s favorite memories of his little brother Timothy.
Born on May 29, 2007, Timothy James Wilson was known for his effervescent, loving personality.
From a young age, Timothy had a distinct fascination with all things planes, racecars, traveling, and history. He was also a member of Scouting America for over ten years, working hard to someday become an Eagle Scout.
Timothy’s mother, Teigue (pronounced TEEG) Thomas, recounts an especially treasured memory of her son in which they visited the March Field Air Museum.
Timothy, just 13-years-old, became the center of attention when a retired Air Force Veteran playfully quizzed him on the various aircraft models in the museum, only for Timothy to precociously name each model with unfettered expertise.
After finding an unexpected equal, the Veteran took Timothy and his family on a private tour of the facility. At the end of this exclusive tour, he gifted Timothy a model airplane signed by legendary flying ace Chuck Yeager.
“He was always very loving, as well as outrageously smart. I think that’s one of the toughest things to think about, just what he would have become because he was so unbelievably brilliant,” said Thomas.
On Feb. 8, 2023, 15-year-old Timothy Wilson took his life by jumping from a nearby bridge.
In a written letter to his family, Timothy conveyed the depth of his excruciating loneliness.
“He left us a very long note, though he didn’t like to write. I forget the exact words, but the very first sentence was along the lines of ‘I am an outcast. I have no friends. Nobody likes me,’” said Thomas.
Timothy, who had autism spectrum disorder (ASD), showed no signs of suicidal tendencies in the days leading up to his passing.
“That Wednesday, the day he left us, was just like a regular day. He got up, he went to school, he went to all his classes, and he even studied for an upcoming math test. I asked all of his teachers if they noticed anything, and they all said ‘no,”’ said Thomas.
This lack of signs is very common within the ASD community. Many attribute this behavior to autistic teens’ difficulty in expressing emotions, heightened sensory experiences such as increased impulsivity, and cognitive inflexibility.
According to a study conducted by the National Library of Medicine (NLM), teens with ASD are over three times more likely to experience suicidal thoughts and behaviors than neurotypical teens.
One contributor to this statistic is the everyday exhaustion ASD teens experience as a result of practices such as “masking.” This is a common strategy in which autistic individuals repress their natural impulses in order to appear neurotypical.
“Imagine if you had to repress every natural impulse you had? You would feel like you’re just not being authentic all the time, and the message is that your authentic self is simply not okay,” said Thomas.
In many ways, the community both supported and disappointed the Wilson family following Timothy’s passing.
Just four days after his “dark day,” three classmates of Timothy’s posed in Snapchat stories with the captions: “anyone know any good bridges to jump off (not into water)” and “@timmy where was the invite.”
“We were already in unimaginable depths of pain, and to see that was just heartbreaking,” said Thomas.
Despite Thomas’ requests to engage in an educated discussion with the three students and their families, they declined to speak with her.
Soon after the post went viral, the student who initially uploaded the photos released a statement to their Snapchat story.
“I ask for your understanding and forgiveness and again I send my deepest and most sincere apologies to each and every one of you,” said the student.
Because Snapchat stories are only visible to one’s followers, the Wilson family never viewed the student’s statement.
“We never got an apology from them. I just couldn’t believe that somebody would make jokes. That was the worst,” said Thomas.
Though these students’ behavior may seem unfathomable, it is important to recognize that their actions are not uncommon. In reality, this incident is an accurate depiction of the day-to-day isolation, alienation, and disrespect that ASD teens often experience.
The purpose of sharing this gut-wrenching incident is not to incite bullying or hatred toward the students involved. Rather, it is to encourage our community to redirect our energy toward remembering and honoring Timothy Wilson.
Amidst this disheartening tragedy, the Wilson family also received an overwhelming amount of support from their community.
At Timothy’s celebration of life, held on March 4, 2023 at the San Clemente “Cars & Coffee” event, there was a remarkable turnout of people – some of whom did not know the Wilson family, but were incredibly touched by Timothy’s story.
“The outpouring of love from San Clemente was unbelievable. It really was the only silver lining,” said Thomas.
Timothy was to graduate alongside the Class of 2025 in less than three weeks. For most adolescents, graduation is a rite of passage into the excitement of adulthood.
The Wilson family only hopes that todays’ seniors will transition into adulthood with the same kindness, understanding, and empathy that could have saved their son.
Thomas continues to honor Timothy’s memory by urging families to talk about suicide.
“I just couldn’t help but feel like if somebody had just extended friendship and been a little kinder, he would have still been here,” said Thomas.
Timothy is survived by his mother Teigue Thomas, brothers Spencer and Zachary Wilson, mother’s boyfriend Gerry Sabat and his son Logan Sabat, longtime nanny Kimberly Wilson, father Jonathan Wilson, stepmother Marianne Wilson, stepbrothers Fred and Owen Follis, stepsister Madeline Thayer, and grandparents Jean Massard, Susan Scherler, Gillian Wilson, and Michael Wilson.
