End of the Year Virus

Max Hooites-Meursing, Staff Writer

The Senioritis virus is deadly, and it has been spreading throughout all teens in highschool. Various symptoms may include, but are not limited to: lack of attention, tendency to use the bathroom often, and sleepiness when your teachers start talking.

The following is a comprehensive questionnaire to deem if you are truly afflicted by senioritis.

 Circle the following below each question.

YES (2 points)

SOMETIMES (1 point)

NO (0 points)

1.Do you ever look at the clock and count down the minutes that pass?


2.Does waking up at 6 o’clock before school anger you more than waking up at 5 o’clock on the weekend?


  1. Do Sundays suck to you because school is the next day?


4.Do stupid things amuse you at school but when you leave school they are just childish?


5.Do you zone out during a lecture more than you listen to it?


The point system devised for the questionnaire is completely arbitrary. If you answered yes to any of these questions then you may have senioritis. Unfortunately the only cure for this virus is June 19, 2015.

The virus has spread to our school and has infected all who lie in its path.

“Senior year is the most fun year because you get to leave early and take all the fun classes you want to take,” said student Cooper Thierjung(11). He has a small case of senioritis because he actually enjoys school unlike most who despise it.

 Another student Borna Talle (10) explains his experiences, “I’ve had it since freshman year and it’s definitely a real disease.” He suffers from a very severe case of senioritis because he refuses to do homework at home and does it during zero period. One way he deals with it is by making people laugh and causing trouble in class.

 Nicolas Gonzalez(10) has a very intense case of senioritis as well.

Everybody usually has senioritis because they just want to leave this place and move on with their lives,” said Gonzalez.

He deals with his senioritis by being friendly with everyone and making them happy.